It's when everyone around me is gossiping about how he's in love with me (and I know better than anyone else that it's just a rumor).

It's when he checks up on me day and night (but only after making sure she's fine, first).

It's when he tells me he'll miss me when he leaves next month (but I know I'd be but a far away memory, because he'll be with her).

It's when he's saying the sweetest things to me at 12 at night and 4.30 in the morning (and her name creeps into the conversation because she's a bigger part of his life than I'll ever be).

It's when he asks me to stay with him, always (but I know he only means as a friend).

It's when he begs me not to go back to sg (but he doesn't know what to do with me if I stay).

It's when he promises me that he'll study hard and follow me if I go (and I know it's a lie because how could he bear to leave her).

It's when I know that he carries around my letters to him in his shirt pocket, close to his heart (but really it's just an empty space because he's already given it to someone else).

It's when I finally realize that I can commit to someone (but the person I want to commit to doesn't need it).