Truth is, I really, really want to write stuff that matters, stuff that's at the least entertaining to read, but right now, I feel so suffocated. I've been down with fever since last Sunday. I feel a lot worse than I usually do when I'm sick. I guess it's because of everything else that's been going on, too.

On a side note, May Ee, I finally realized why you sneeze the way you do! Usually, my sneezes are normal, passing. But today, every single time I sneeze, I can't control a single muscle of mine, and it's like my whole head's caving in and shrinking inside my body. Gross. This feeling's awful.

It's just so hard not talking to him. I feel like shit. And the thing is, everywhere I go in school, people are talking about him. Yeah, okay, I get it, he's popular. But before, I used to feel happy just hearing the mention of his name. And now...I want to get away, and I've nowhere to go. And I can't even tell my friends to just...stop, because they don't even know about any of this.

I wasn't crazy about him when it started. I thought he was sweet. I thought I could use a guy who was nice, who cared. And he did. Fuck, he still does, and I know that. But I feel sad anyway. It's just that, the reason he's not talking to me is because he's angry. And usually he'd get over it in a few hours, maybe a day, but if he's not talking to me for this long...it means I must've really hurt him.

And that's why I can't even sleep properly. I tried to talk to him twice, but he kind of blew up, and I figured he needs his space. It's been a week though, idk what to do. Am I supposed to wait? Is he pissed off that I'm not trying harder? I'm shit at relationships, aren't I.