What laziness does to someone. In other news, I found the essay I wrote on procrastination a year ago. I've zero inspiration, so here, have some recycled material.

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Topic: Are you a procrastinator?

I think it goes without saying that the answer to that is yes. See, procrastination is a fine art that can only be appreciated by another procrastinator. We procrastinators are a curious brand of species. Scientists could lock us into cages and experiment for decades, but they would never understand how our minds work. We have been programmed to lie around and waste away doing absolutely nothing even though we have a million things left to do.

Let’s face it; procrastination and laziness go hand in hand. When we are feeling lazy, we procrastinate and vice versa. This is an endless but precious process that was been around since the beginning of time. Just pretend that no one in the world was lazy and that no one procrastinated. That every human being worked hard and always did what they were supposed to do on time. Can you imagine how boring life would be?

Besides, we are part of the status quo of society. Take a classroom situation, for example. If there were no procrastinators in a class, the teachers would have no reason to nag at the students, which means they would have more time to focus on the actual lessons. Since they get to teach their lessons according to schedule, they will also dump work on the students. The pupils will be miserable, of course, but none of them are lazy bums and so they will submit their work on time, all neat with their sickeningly straight handwriting. Now that all the work has been handed in without even a single piece missing, the teacher will have a ton of papers to mark, and now she too will be miserable. And so it carries on, this vicious cycle. But fear not, in the real world, lazy people will continue to survive and study and work amongst normal people.

Here is a secret that they (and by ‘they’, I mean the government) don’t want you to know. Procrastination is good for you. Seriously. Is it better to stress over something for a week or just one night? Before you answer, remember that too much stress leads to acne and infertility. Okay, maybe I made part of that up. Which part exactly is entirely up to you to decide.

This fact has been kept a secret throughout the centuries because if everyone thought it was okay to procrastinate, then no work would have ever gotten done. Of course, there are always the abnormally intelligent people who discover this sacred art all on their own. They deserve a round of applause, and maybe a nice hot cup of coffee to get them through their latest quest.